Pride and Arrogance
The fundamental differences between Confidence and Conceitedness
Okay, let’s go ahead and say this right now, that picture is amazing and is the actual photo the article I’ll be discussing today used. I’m not even kidding.
Now, this blog preaches self confidence, and how important it is to be aware of how amazing you are. But as we all know, sometimes people take that a little too far. Hopefully, this will help you understand the difference between “I am an amazing person with a lot of self-worth” and “Everybody is beneath me”.
The article I mentioned earlier comes from World of Psychology, and gives four major components to break down.
1. “Style vs Blind Addiction”. According to the author, an “arrogant” person is often very materialistic and is devastated after physical loss, such as a lost item or a failing trend. They also are more likely to flaunt wealth or new possessions. I completely agree, especially since I know the opposite to be true. For instance, a confident person’s clothing, makeup, and other personal choices will stem from a confident person’s own desires and choices, because they know that they are doing what makes them feel happy and successful. Meanwhile, someone who is more inclined to stick closely to trends will have a harder time defining their own values aside from ambitions.
If you feel that you are putting too much power in your things, take a lesson from Fight Club, and don’t let the things you own, own you. Be proud of who you are, and express yourself in a way that makes you feel beautiful and proud.
2. “Active Listening vs The Monologue”. To quote the article, “That person who insists on holding court in any gathering is probably a frightened jester rather than a monarch.” In my own opinion, I feel that if anyone feels the need to dominate a conversation they are probably very passionate about something, because it takes a lot of confidence to be able to speak strongly for something you believe in, but I can also see where the author is coming from.
If you are worried that you try to hard or overcompensate in conversations to hide insecurities, consider finding a new group of friends you can discuss your interests in without feeling judged, and can express yourself more freely. You’ll find your personal confidence grow as you begin to recognize that your opinions are valid and that others will respect you as long as you state what you feel in a professional, polite manner.
3. “Ambition vs Ruthlessness”. This one is a very important distinction to make, especially once you find something you are truly passionate about. The most important thing to remember here is that a confident person believes in their self, but a conceited person believes no one but them self.
If you are worried your ambition may be going too far, ask yourself, “am I hurting others as a result of my actions or words”? “Do I listen to criticism and try to understand the feelings of all those involved”? If you are taking care to not be manipulative, and are making sure all your arguments and ideas are well-founded, then your self pride is not harmful.
4. “The Human vs The Greek God”. This is rather self-explanatory. A truly confident person recognizes that they have flaws and are only human, but try to be the best human they can be. On the opposite end of the spectrum, “arrogant people can’t risk the fragile persona crumbling in the face of defeat and run from criticism.” Arrogance is not based in self-worth, but rather in an inflated ego, and if it begins to chip, the entire facade will come crashing down. Mindy Kaling offers a good way to visualize this. A confident person understands the situation and knows they have the ability and knowledge to handle it. An arrogant person may feel victimized when it becomes apparent that they do not know as much as they thought.
Do you have the occasional self-doubt, but know that you can do most anything you set your mind to? Do you question things, and try to form your own opinions? Are you aware of the consequences of your actions? Do you recognize that you are an incredible human being worthy of many great things, but understand that you always have room to learn and improve?
Then congratulations my fair reader, you are in fact, a confident person. And if you aren’t there yet, it’s a long and rewarding road to get there, and I have faith in you.